Surprise Me
by HadenXCharm
Summary: After the incident on New Years' Eve, Ichigo is slowly coming to terms with a lot of new things - namely, crossdressing.
1. Chapter 1

Renji was in high spirits. He'd just had a great weekend with his number one, he was doing awesome in his new position as department head at work, and he'd spent a bunch of time with his best friend Rukia the night before - Valentine's was coming up too. Things were going great for him.

Especially concerning his love life. Not that it has ever been unsatisfactory, thank you very much, but his lover had seen fit to completely spoil him and give him a surprise a few weeks back. He still didn't know what had gotten into Ichigo to make him dress up the way he had, but he's glad he'd done it, because ever since, their sex life has only been improving - something he hadn't even thought possible.

He brought it up again from time to time even though Ichigo had told him to _please stop talking about it already._ Renji just can't though, he can't believe it!

"You wore panties for me?"

He knew it had to have been hard for Ichigo, who, although he had a thick skin, he had sort of a fragile ego in certain areas, like sex and intimacy. Well, it had used to be he'd only get shy and embarrassed like he had as a kid when _other_ people's sexual practices or _physical attributes_ were brought up. It seemed like once they'd started doing it together, Ichigo had stopped getting flustered over that kind of stuff as much - at least not with Renji. Until now. Until those weird few weeks surrounding Christmas and New Years, and Renji understood why now. Ichigo must have been trying to come to terms with wearing that for him.

It had to have been so hard for him, to do something that made him feel so shy. "You must really love me, huh?" Renji half-teased, half-cooed, mooning over him, face in his hands.

Ichigo didn't even deny it. "Yeah so what?!" he shouted, red in the face. "Don't be a dick about it!"

 _Ahh, he can't take it! Renji's heart will burst if he says stuff like that!_

He just can't get over it - Ichigo'd done something so daring, just for him, for the sake of his happiness. Ichigo never got jealous or possessive over him, and wasn't super affectionate outside of the privacy of their bedroom, so it was hard sometimes, to feel loved - but how could he not, if Ichigo had done something like that?

Renji wouldn't have changed things, honestly. But Ichigo was the one who'd brought it up, which was amazing in itself - and it would've been fine, really. It would've been welcome fun if Ichigo had brought up wanting to try something new, something adventurous. Renji would've indulged him, would've obliged, but the conundrum he faced now was knowing that this stuff didn't come from within Ichigo's own fantasies, did they.

It still gave him a little thrill to think about. Ichigo had planned to try and excite him all on his own? It was just so out of nowhere. It was so unlike Ichigo that it must have come from some outside influence. Renji wasn't sure what had happened exactly, whether he'd done something to hurt Ichigo's confidence, or if something else had upset him somehow, wounded his pride. Ichigo must have heard something about him, something about the past.

No, he knew what it was. He knows it in his gut. Hisagi and Ichigo'd had a tiff in the past month, still weren't getting on very well, and although he didn't have any proof, Renji was positive that it had something to do with this whole thing. Hisagi must have told Ichigo something that had hurt him, bothered him.

It wasn't like him at all, which was why it was so confusing. Renji didn't understand what was going on. Ichigo didn't get jealous.

Renji dealt with it more often. Everyone, _everyone_ fell in love with Ichigo, so of course he got jealous from time to time, got a little anxious. Ichigo might not be as open or brash about it as Renji was, making friends everywhere he went - while Renji reveled in it, Ichigo seemed oblivious to flirtation. Usually they were nice people and Renji was friendly towards them too despite knowing they were giving Ichigo the gleaming eyes and showing him their best side. Sometimes though, he got a bad feeling, a bad vibe off somebody, and he was unable to keep his temper in check.

When he felt like that though, when he got too protective or pushy, he felt ashamed of himself. It wasn't fair of him. Ichigo never got like that; he was so strong and secure - he was so much stronger than Renji was. Renji sometimes cracked and his nasty jealousy comes out under the right conditions, but Ichigo though, Ichigo's not like that. Ever.

So Renji didn't know what on earth Hisagi could have done to get under Ichigo's skin, to make him insecure.

The weirdness of it had put him on edge. To make matters worse, Ichigo had kept asking him those questions about girls, what the best part was, how it _felt_ to be with a woman sexually - and Renji had gotten even more spooked. Ichigo was acting so strangely all of a sudden. He didn't need to be a love expert to know that a sudden change in personality like that and newfound vanity was a sign of coming infidelity.

He'd been scared, so fucking scared, but hadn't felt like he could talk to Ichigo about it, couldn't tell him that he was feeling insecure and afraid. _'You're not thinking of breaking up with me, are you?'_ The words were stuck in his throat for so long.

When he could finally stand it no longer, he'd told him, and Ichigo had assured him firmly, _'that's not why.'_ That's not why he was asking what he'd been asking, and the panic Renji had felt had been soothed, but that just made those questions all the more mysterious.

That's when he knew for sure that Ichigo's weird behavior had to come down to some sort of jealousy. He must have hurt Ichigo somehow, hurt his pride, made him feel inadequate. He didn't know how to reassure him that he was good enough, not just good enough even, but his dreams come true.

Renji's confronted him about it, asked him what was wrong, and explained that there was nothing between him and Hisagi now, that he was the only one he loved, and Ichigo has told him that he didn't feel jealous - but Renji still felt that he must have made Ichigo feel unspecial somehow.

To tell the truth though, after the never-ending barrage of _new_ he'd experienced in his youth, in his days of prowling around, there was nothing desired more now than the comfort and warmth of Ichigo's love, the familiarity of being with someone you love and trust, knowing that he'd be there in their home, tonight, tomorrow, and in the coming years. The warmth in his heart satisfied him better than any thrill. It was no hardship to be faithful at all, it wasn't boring or a drag. Excitement wasn't what he craved, and he didn't know how to make Ichigo believe him.

Ichigo said he wasn't jealous, and he might really not have been, but he clearly felt inadequate in some way or else he wouldn't have put in such an effort to surprise him - and when he did what he did, wearing those panties for him, when Renji had thought afterwards about why he must have done it, he'd felt so, so awful. Had he really made Ichigo feel like he had to do that kind of thing to keep him happy?

But they'd talked about that too, and things had changed - _'Leave it to me,'_ he told Ichigo. And a door had opened. _Wide._

Ever since then, Renji's been doing his damndest to give him the thrill he deserves. His first objective was to get Ichigo more comfortable with being in charge, in an effort to get him to feel better about divulging and verbally communicating what he wanted. Renji was enjoying the process immensely.

He was the experienced one, so Ichigo has always left everything to him, but it had never occurred to Renji before to be filthy with Ichigo. The thought has never struck him, and now that it has, now that Ichigo had opened that door all on his own, it felt dirty, dangerous, exhilarating, so wonderfully _bad._

Maybe he'd bought too much into the idea of a man playing around when he was young, being filthy and crazy until he was tired of miscellaneous genitals, and then being warm and loving and faithful to his wife - who, for him, had turned out to be his steady boyfriend and partner, Ichigo. He'd been satisfied to contentment with the passion of sex with Ichigo, making love with him until they were both exhausted. Any element of adventure had been superfluous to the easy fun of the intimacy between them.

When Ichigo had finally worn those panties for him though, after that conversation, Renji had come to a realization. It had never occurred to him before that Ichigo'd never been that filthy crazy young man, he'd never felt those ups and downs before meeting him, never felt the heart-pounding lust, the thrill of excitement. He's only ever been with him and no one else.

And it was as if a door's been opened up. Ichigo'd done so much, his sweet, easily-embarrassed, cranky boy, he'd put his pride on the line for him to try and excite him. Renji loved him, he really did, so much. And so he resolved to blow his mind. Renji was going to take him apart, brick by brick.

 _'Leave it to me,'_ he whispered, and Ichigo did. Renji was going to give him his wish. He was going to make his wet dreams come true if it was the last thing he did.


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't take much. 

It didn't take much at all. Renji didn't have to get very freaky for Ichigo to appear completely scandalized, and it made it more fun somehow, how little it took to thrill him. Even after a few years together in a physical relationship and being perfectly comfortable with what they did, Ichigo was still innocent in some ways, pure somehow.

Renji took great delight in this realization. The worry and guilt he'd always felt about talking about his past with Ichigo, with including Ichigo in that filthy world, it all went away - because he didn't have to do much at all. He could still feel that warm loving passion he so enjoyed and simultaneously thrill Ichigo out of his wits.

He has so much to show that boy, has so much to do with him. There are so many things he's never experienced, and Renji felt giddy from it, knowing there were still things he could show Ichigo for the first time. It was as though he were still a virgin, so brand new. Renji couldn't wait to sink his teeth into him - by degrees, of course; tooth by tooth.

Given that even Ichigo's dirtiest fantasies were still very tame, Renji was going to be gentle with him at first, explore this new aspect of their relationship slowly.

He decided that he was going to start Ichigo out with the housewife fantasy - it was one that they likely shared, honestly. Renji's always loved being taken care of and comforted - especially by Ichigo.

They were both pretty masculine and were constantly aggressive with each other in their relationship, so he figured it'd be nice to give Ichigo the encouragement to take control without expecting a fight. He could be in charge and be the man of the house, be treated like a king, like a beloved and adored husband for one night. Plus, if Renji's honest, he has sort of a thing for being bossed around. 

Besides, he just knew Ichigo would blush his head off, and he can't wait to see that.

"What the fuck are you scheming?" Ichigo accused rather bluntly. Renji just smiled back at him, not even bothering to deny it, instead narrowing his eyes and giving him this _'wouldn't you like to know'_ look.

"Nothing."

"That is not nothing, you lying, conniving little shit."

"Don't worry about it," Renji brushes off. "Can we snuggle?" Ichigo groaned aloud, but opened an arm up for him.

It wasn't until Valentine's day that he put his plan into action.

On Valentine's, he took a half-day at work. After giving out his giri-choco to his coworkers and friends, he came home with a smirk on his face. He stood in the doorway and took his suit jacket off, loosening his tie.

He was going to blow his boyfriend away. 

. . .

When Ichigo came home, he was clearly exhausted after such a long day. Renji could hear him trudging down the hall to their rooms, fiddling slowly with his keyring to come inside.

"Take out the honmei chocolates from the mold, shower, feed Renji, bed," he heard him mutter through the door. He sounded so damn tired.

Renji smiled a little fondly, waiting by the door for him to come in. When he did, opening the door, cheeks pink from the cold, shoulders drooping tiredly, Renji greeted him, taking his bag out of his hands while he took his coat off. "Happy Valentine's, babe."

"Happy Valentine's," he murmured, dazedly accepting a kiss on the cheek, and stared a little blankly when Renji took his coat and hung it up for him.

"Come sit down and rest. Dinner's ready for you." Ichigo must still be too tired and confused to react much, but Renji could practically hear the gears whirring in his head as he led Ichigo to the table and pulled out his chair for him to sit down.

Ichigo did, staring at him with narrowed eyes as he moved around in the kitchen, plating their food, having left it in the oven to stay warm until Ichigo arrived.

"What the fuck is this?" Ichigo finally said in suspicion. "Why is it so damn clean in here?"

"I cleaned everything." He's not boasting, he's just happy Ichigo'd noticed how spotless the house was.

"What's…" Ichigo stared for a second more, his expression loosening from something accusatory and distrustful into complete mortification. Renji smiled at the heat rising in his boyfriend's cheeks. He always looked so young when he got embarrassed, just like that teenage boy he'd met so long ago. "What are you wearing?!" he blurted, pointing at him with a shaking finger.

Renji looked down at his chest. It was the pink kitchen apron. It wasn't just Ichigo's, but it pretty much was, since Renji never bothered wearing it. Until right now. He smiled smugly and brought Ichigo their plates, feeding him the first bite with one hand under the mouthful to guide it to his lips. Ichigo stared for a second until Renji insisted, "Open up." Ichigo opened his mouth and accepted the food, still goggling at him openly.

"Good?"

Ichigo chewed, staring at him. When he finally swallowed, he said, "Yeah," in this weak raspy tone. Renji practically squirmed at the success, seeing Ichigo so pink in the cheeks, so speechless and flustered. How could Ichigo get so scandalized from something like this?

"Eat up," Renji urged. "I'll draw you a bath." He nearly laughed aloud then at the sight of Ichigo's expression. Honestly, his boyfriend is such a vanilla bean.

"I don't know what the fuck you're playing at, but it's not funny," Ichigo shouted, shifting uncertainly. He was so red it was silly.

"Don't let it get cold," Renji insisted with a smile, because there's no way he's going to stop now, not when it was working so beautifully.

 _"Don't fuck around!"_ he hollered, so worked up that he was practically spitting.

Renji laughed lightly then. "Don't be a spoilsport."

 _"Spoilsport?!"_

Giving a wide smile, Renji lowered his voice, standing up and rounding the table slowly to Ichigo's side. With each step, Ichigo straightened up in his chair, leaned back away from him, watching him like a hawk, heart clearly about to pound out of his chest. "After I went to all this effort to please you," Renji murmured, perhaps unfairly, because the moment he does, Ichigo visibly gulps.

"And you're not happy," he continued, leaning down behind Ichigo, lips near his ear so he could whisper, _"husband."_

 _"Are- Are you pretending to be my housewife?"_ Ichigo squeaked, absolutely rigid, shoulders up near his ears, tight and tense.

"What's this pretending stuff?" Renji breathed, using that low dark voice that he knew Ichigo thought was sexy.

"Eep!"

Ichigo stopped yelling complaints then, and let him pamper him. He'd clammed up completely, openly embarrassed, red up to the roots of his hair, practically steaming from the ears every time Renji did pretty much anything. Renji was having the time of his life - he hadn't expected it to work quite this well.

After Ichigo finished eating, he let Renji send him to the bath while he stayed and washed their dishes. When he came in, he found him sitting in the tub, hugging his knees. Ichigo's head snapped up to him in surprise, eyes wide, cheeks still a little rosy. Renji watched him swallow again as he knelt down at the side of the tub.

"What are you doing?" Ichigo gulped.

"Let me wash your back."

Ichigo let his head fall back against his knees, this strange high-pitched noise coming out of him. Renji really had to bite a laugh back at that one, rolling his sleeves up and reaching his arms in to soap up Ichigo's back and wash his hair for him. It was kind of nice, actually. It's not like he didn't show Ichigo affection normally, hugging and kissing him often, but it was nice to be able to take care of him like this, completely spoil him - especially if he got this kind of reaction for his troubles.

"How was your day at work?"

Ichigo eventually uncurled and relaxed into the hot water, letting Renji scrub his head and rinse his hair, squeeze his shoulders and chest. They talked together a bit, and things seemed to cool down somewhat, but Renji could see Ichigo continue giving him these shy curious glances, could see these high spots of pink on his cheeks and ears that wouldn't go away.

He had a towel and Ichigo's sweats folded up and ready for him when he got out of the bath and dried off. When Ichigo came to bed, Renji waited for him to lay down and then smiled at him, crawling atop him. Ichigo lay there, not seeming to know what to do with himself, his arms at his sides. He's so sweet like that, his eyes uncertain and excited, he smelled so fresh from his bath, he's so soft and willing, lying there.

Renji slipped his pants down his slim hips, finding him already hard and eager - who knew how long he'd spent like that - and directed his cock to his lips, slowly licking around the head and then sucking him down into his wet mouth.

"Ohh," Ichigo sighed, "Ohh, ohhhh." Renji loved doing this. Ichigo was always so appreciative, it was so easy to tell he was enjoying it that it stroked Renji's ego a little too much. Ichigo held his head in gentle hands, sighing and moaning at the ceiling, his hips lightly thrusting.

Renji grinned and licked his lips after a time, when Ichigo began to gasp and strain, when he started to grit his teeth and curl up his toes. He pushed himself up and crawled up to him, lying in Ichigo's arms and kissing his cheek, his sweaty face, his sideburn. "How 'bout it," he hummed. "You gonna' make love to me?"

Ichigo just lays there and gasps, his deep breaths moving his chest up and down. "..."

"Your lil' wifey?" Renji whispered into his ear, grinning. Ichigo doesn't laugh though, doesn't laugh at the teasing, the ridiculous nature of it. Instead, he swallowed hard. Renji did laugh then, once, low in his throat, and rolled them, making Ichigo get on top of him.

"You've had such a long day," he breathed, "Lemme' comfort you." Ichigo grabbed him then, an almost desperate spark in his eyes. He was so close to snapping, Renji could feel it, he was so close to abandoning the humiliation, the shyness, and doing as he pleased.

Renji kept still and docile, which he never did otherwise, and after a few moments, Ichigo reached a hand down between them and spread his legs open, moving back to be able to see what he was doing. His chest was heaving, his mouth open with his deep hungry breaths as he reached to grab their lubricant bottle and wet his fingers. "Don't worry. I'm all ready for you, sweetheart," Renji told him, and that's when Ichigo threw himself atop him, clinging onto him around the chest, under the arms, pressing against him needily, gasping in his ear. He fumbled between them to put a condom on and get his cock inside, penetrating him with a long moan of relief.

Renji lay still beneath him and remained mostly quiet, letting out little moans with his head turned modestly to the side. Ichigo held onto him and shuddered, his face pressed to the side of Renji's, his mouth open and gasping in his ear. He was a mess, pressing their bodies together with complete abandon.

"Haaah," they sighed together, at last coming to a slow. Ichigo sprawled across his chest, exhausted, and Renji let his legs come down, smiling, thoroughly pleased with himself.

Ichigo began to tense up, his head in the pillow. Renji glanced at him. He was so fucking red.

"I was so loud," he heard him murmur, muffled.

"You're into that kind of thing, huh," Renji noted. Ichigo managed a nod.

"Shut up, I didn't know," he muttered, turning his head out of the pillow, but still didn't look him in the eye as they separated and lay side by side. "I never imagined you… like that…"

"Oh yeah?" Renji wondered, ears perking as he put an arm around Ichigo's shoulder, scooting his gasping exhausted body close to his as they came down from the high together.

"Yeah," Ichigo whispered, head on Renji's chest, just under his chin, forehead pressed to his neck. "I could see you as like…" His fingers played idly over Renji's tattoos, his long hair, as he slowly spoke. "... I dunno', a lifeguard, or like… a fireman." Seeming to really consider it then, he added, "Or a hot basketball player."

"Hey, you know I like futsal."

"Something really manly," Ichigo ignored him. "I didn't think…" He went silent then, laying there in thought. Renji cuddled him in his arms and pondered his success.

Ichigo had been really surprised, hadn't he, if he'd expected 'something really manly.' It made sense why Ichigo had been so blown away by those lacey backless underwear he'd worn before. It probably made this weirdly sensual contrast with his bulging musculature.

He hadn't put it together until now, why Ichigo had blushed so intensely at realizing he was wearing an apron. The realization only made it more sweet.

"Did I make a good housewife?" Renji wondered, feeling he had the right to tease a little bit.

Ichigo just grumbled, refusing to answer. "Mmrgh," he sulked.

"C'mon, don't I make a good wife?" Renji insisted, shaking him a little and grinning like the little shit he was. "I tried so hard to please you, be your little _waifu,_ " he said in english to really maximize the silliness.

Sure enough, Ichigo flushed all over again, from one second to the next. It was like watching paint bleed through a napkin, it was so fast. "Stop saying it, sheesh!" he sputtered hotly. "Yes, I liked it, okay?"

"..." Renji smiled in satisfaction, rubbing his cheek on Ichigo's hair affectionately. He's so glad. Renji loved him, he really loved him.

"So are you done, or…?" Ichigo muttered, fidgeting.

"Done what?" he wondered blankly.

"... Done… trying to kill me?"

"Is it as bad as that?" Renji teased.

Ichigo got really red and mad at that, but he swallowed it, and all he said was, "No."

"You want me to keep going?"

"I'll be in your care," he grumbled, pulling on his hot ear and looking away. "Do your best." Renji beamed, filled with newfound determination. 

"I will!"


	3. Chapter 3

Renji loved the new direction his life was taking. Home was great, work was great - he was kept in high spirits, humming and thinking about his boyfriend all day long.

His mission to excite Ichigo had gone to plan even better than he'd expected - and now that he's had a taste, he wants more, much more. He wanted to give Ichigo a real thrill.

It would be dishonest to say that in his eagerness, he wasn't still a little hesitant. Renji felt uncomfortable pushing that limit too far and getting too freaky. He felt guilt over it, and a sense of shame. Ichigo was so earnest in his efforts at being adventurous, so serious and so pure, that it would be unfair to take advantage of that.

Most of all, when Renji thought of his times as a dog and looked at Ichigo's sad brown eyes, the eyes he loved, he felt ashamed of himself even though those times were long ago now and he had never been unfaithful in their relationship. It still felt dishonest somehow, in bringing Ichigo into that filthy world, in making him a part of that. So the boundaries were still there.

This was why Renji didn't voice his own ideas, didn't bring up other activities, despite telling Ichigo _'leave this to me.'_ He wanted ichigo to be the one to bring those things to the table, or to their bedroom, rather - even though he knew that Ichigo was very unlikely to do so and was very slow to suggest things and that it was because of modesty and shyness that he never suggested anything himself.

So Renji stuck with what Ichigo has already introduced into their sex life. Which was dress-up. 

_'Who doesn't like some dress-up, that's what I say!'_

Well, to be honest, Renji hasn't actually had a partner long-term before, not enough to really do that kind of thing very much, if at all. It was nice actually, now that he got to experience that and do those fun things with Ichigo.

On top of that, Renji knew he had a nice body and everything, but seeing Ichigo give him those starstruck looks, the ones that he didn't show him so openly anymore now that they've been together for so long, it made Renji feel really sexy. It felt good to be looked at like that, and he was pleased to find that when he dressed up for Ichigo, whether after the new-years' debacle in that lace lingerie or on Valentine's day in a simple apron - when he dressed up for him and got him red in the face, Renji felt fucking _hot._

So he kept doing it. He wore the elastic shorts, he wore the expensive Ralph Lauren boxers, he wore cute, boyish, bright-colored briefs, and all manner of underwears that made Ichigo's eyes go round in curiosity and excitement. Renji loved it, seeing the thrill of _new_ cross Ichigo's face, the novelty of it all.

"You like this don't you?" he realized by the third night he'd worn something new, not very scandalous, but new. He was straddled atop Ichigo's middle to give him an up-close. "Hm? This is what gets you going," he worked out, moving a hand down his own chest, sensually slow in touching himself, brushing his nipples and past his belly button.

Ichigo just nodded speechlessly, brows set with a heavy tension, his cheeks delightfully pink as he gripped onto Renji's hips.

After some particularly enthusiastic sex, Renji found that intimate satisfaction could not in fact sate his curiosity. He tried to coax it out of him, his secret fantasy, prodding and poking Ichigo where he lay exhausted in his arms, not letting him fall asleep.

"Every guy has one," Renji insisted, when Ichigo denied it and kept his eyes closed, clearly basking in the glow.

Ichigo merely hummed contentedly, ignoring him. Renji pleaded a little bit then. He didn't care about playing fair if it would get him his way. "I like dressing up for you," he hummed in Ichigo's ear, leaning down and running his nose along the soft skin of his jaw and neck, kissing and ghosting his lips there. Ichigo gave a pleased noise, a hint of a smile appearing, but his eyes don't open. "Let me fulfill your secret dream," Renji breathed. "I know there must be something."

Ichigo let out a huff of a laugh then when Renji squeezed him, even tickled him a little to try and get a response. "What is it?" he demanded nosily. "Construction worker? No, business wear," Renji tried, but got no reaction from any of them. "Stripper. Cop. Schoolgirl."

Ichigo blushed at that one, as though he hadn't considered it before, and even with his eyes closed, his face scrunched in mortification. "No," he grit out, but Renji had a feeling he might be a little into it, if he tried it on him.

"Tell me," Renji whispered, "Tell me what it is."

"Well…" Ichigo mumbled.

Seeing that he was working him down, Renji wheedled and pleaded and pestered him for ages, not letting it rest until he'd tell him his deepest darkest fantasy, what got him hot, the dirtiest thing he's ever wanted to do that he could never tell anyone.

"Okay. But don't laugh." Ichigo at last confessed to him in a whisper, "... Do you remember that one time when we were in the locker room, back in college, and I slipped and hurt myself on a locker door?"

"You mean when you bashed up your nose?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said hesitantly, not quite meeting his eyes, seeming very shy all of a sudden. "Well, I lied."

"You did?"

"I…" He fidgeted madly. "The thing I like…"

"What is it," Renji pressed. "Tell me and I'll wear it, babe." Ichigo didn't seem to be able to say it, not bold enough to just come out with it, so Renji tried to help it along. "My swimshorts?"

Ichigo swallowed hard and shook his head, and then leaned in close to Renji's ear, even going so far as to cup a hand around it, and then breathed ever so quietly, "Your jockstrap." He pulled back, looking at Renji's face for a reaction. His expression was so earnest, so pure.

Renji tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was so adorable, so unbearably adorable that he ended up with a wild grin despite his best efforts to remain serious. That nosebleed Ichigo had gotten those years ago, had been because he'd seen him in the locker room in his jockstrap?

He tried not to let his ego shoot through the roof, hearing that, tried not to think about how he'd never in his life seen Ichigo get a nosebleed other than that one time - and it was over him, wearing assless athletic support.

"That's your naughtiest fantasy?" Renji wondered, teasing just a little bit. "Ichigo, you're a vanilla bean."

"Does, does that mean you won't wear it?" Ichigo sputtered, dark pink in the face and seeming somehow disappointed.

"Of course I'm gonna' wear it!" Renji's mind was already racing through the scenario. He nearly laughed to himself, smirking a little, and then scooped Ichigo close in his arms, humming in his ear, real low, "Tomorrow when I go to work, when I get dressed, I'm gonna' put it on... and I'm gonna' wear it - all - day."

He heard a breath leave Ichigo, hanging in the air between them as he continued, dark and sensual, "I'll be in the train like that on the way to the office, sitting at my desk, taking phone calls, and no one'll know that I'm like that, all spread out and ready for you to snatch up the second I walk through the door."

Ichigo didn't say anything, but he blushed, _red._

He seemed excited about the idea though, and no one could say that Renji wasn't damn pleased with himself too.


	4. Chapter 4

True to his word, Renji wore the jockstrap under his nice work pants the next day, and could feel the fabric touching on his bare ass all day at work in meetings, in his office, in the train. When he walked, there was a certain _air flow_ that didn't let him take his mind off of his evening plans.

When he came home, _finally_ _,_ Ichigo was there waiting. He was already red in the face, just at the sight of him coming through the door, looking him up and down. He had this wild look in his eye like he was already barely holding himself back, standing there _trembling._

"Are you…" He swallowed, stuttering out, "Do you have it on?" Renji grinned, taking the few steps forward to meet him halfway. He took Ichigo by the chin and kissed him hard, took him in his arms.

When they got to the bedroom, Ichigo was already ragged. He sprawled on the bed, sweating, chest heaving, eyes dilated and glued onto him. Renji stood at the end of the bed, stripping for him, making him watch him slowly unbutton his shirt and unbelt his pants.

When he let his pants fall and kicked them away, Ichigo moaned aloud at the sight of him, needy and wrecked, a fist shoved against his mouth. Renji stretched and flexed his arms behind his head, twisting at the waist to give him a peek of his muscular back, his bare ass held in underneath a thick elastic strap.

It was exhilirating, to have Ichigo looking at him like this, peeking from between his fingers, so red that he looked like he might pass out. He hasn't seen Ichigo react to quite this degree even when he'd been younger and almost caught sight of boobs or panties when Rangiku was around to tease him.

At last done showing himself off, Renji crawled slowly onto the bed, over his tense stiff tomato of a boyfriend. He laid himself heavily atop him, rubbing his bare body over him until Ichigo stuttered a moan aloud and placed his hands tentatively on his back. "Yeah," Renji breathed huskily, encouraging him. Ichigo swallowed hard, Renji could feel his heart pounding quick and hard between them as he let his hands slide down and cup his bare ass on both sides.

"Haah," Ichigo gasped, tentatively squeezing.

"Did the blood go to your head too fast, or are you gonna'-" Renji must've underestimated him and assumed that he'd just keep laying there flabbergasted like last time, that he'd let Renji do as he liked with him, because that was around the time Ichigo snapped.

He held onto him around his middle and rolled his hips up against him, head securely tucked into the side of his neck where he could latch on with his mouth. Renji huffed out a breath of surprise, gritting his teeth and letting his head drop. "Shit," he whispered, chest beginning to heave as he let his thighs come apart, straddling Ichigo on either side.

Face smothered into his chest, Ichigo dazedly muffled out, "Can I finger you?"

"Fuck," Renji gasped. It's such a turn on to hear Ichigo talk like that. "Fuck, yes."

He threw himself onto his front, legs spread obscenely, grinning into the bed when he heard Ichigo let out this choked groan. Ichigo ran a slow hand over his back and his side, marveling at the sight laid out before him. He lay himself atop Renji's back for a moment as he reached for the lube from the drawer and then leaned back, straddling Renji's thighs and letting the lubricant drizzle down and create a puddle just at the top of his ass, slowly sliding down between. "Fuuuuck," Ichigo whispered, and Renji could hear him fumbling with his zipper, shoving his pants down so he could at least palm himself.

He let Ichigo have his little fantasy for a while, let him play with his ass and squeeze it obscenely, let him bite the strap and press his face against the seam of his ass, let him shove his dick there and hump his back, and _gasp,_ let him moan and shake against him.

Renji has been eager for it all day and was so turned on by this point, so ready, that Ichigo barely had to do anything, barely had to do anything besides put his fingers in once or twice and he was already set to go, relaxed and aroused. He was so pent up and ready for it that Ichigo'd really better fuck the shit out of him or he was taking the wheel like last time and riding him until he passed out.

"Will you get on top of me?" Ichigo breathed, and Renji let his eyes open for a second in surprise. Well then.

Ichigo lay on his back, gasping with eagerness, clumsily and ineffectually kicking to try and get his pants further down his legs. Renji straddled him then, facing towards Ichigo's feet so that Ichigo could have a better view of what he was so interested in tonight. He heard Ichigo curse, felt him take his dick out and let it rest, hot and damp against his back. He threw Ichigo a condom and waited for him to get it on.

Raising up on his knees for a second so Ichigo could direct his cock between his legs and hold it straight for him, Renji slowly eased down, letting his own pleased hum mingle with Ichigo's moaning. He only gave it a second before starting to fuck himself on Ichigo's dick, rolling his hips and cupping his erection in front, squeezing through the fabric pouch.

The sounds Ichigo made as he dropped his full weight on him with each thrust made Renji wish he could see his face, could enjoy the way he looked so young when he was wracked with pleasure like that, his mouth open, brows scrunched, eyes barely open, flushed rosey and gleaming with a sheen of sweat.

"Ahh," Ichigo gasped wetly, "Haah." He gripped Renji's hips, letting out a shaky breath through pursed lips. "Fuck," he breathed, "Fuck, lay down. I wanna' be on top of you now."

The novelty of Ichigo having a real opinion on what they did in bed hadn't worn off, so Renji agreed to his every whim. He peeled himself off of Ichigo and rolled onto his front with a grin, watching as Ichigo sat up, trembling, but filled with a sort of manic energy.

Renji put his arms behind his back for Ichigo to hold, as if they were tied there, wrist to elbow, and gave a groan, laughing through it when Ichigo put his weight on his back, laid his body there and penetrated him. After letting out a shaky breath, Ichigo thrusted against him, and quickly picked up the pace, fucking him against the mattress, hips coming down on his butt hard enough that he bounced, enough that his face was shoved against the bed over and over.

"Shit," Ichigo whispered, holding his arms down with one hand, the other braced against the mattress as he looked down between them and watched himself go in and out. "F-fuck… that's so hot," he whispered.

Enjoying being thrown around, Renji let him know it, humming and groaning around and encouraging him every time he thrusted against him. Ichigo was going pretty hard, not rough, but much harder and with more vigor than usual, his concentration shot to hell with reckless abandon.

Eventually Ichigo let his arms go, taking his hands in his and laying himself flush atop him, his rhythm falling apart. "Ahh, Renji," he breathed, their bodies making loud sweaty slaps as they moved together. "Nghh… Haah."

Ichigo couldn't last long enough to satisfy him, so when he picked himself up off of his back and peeled the condom off, exhausted and gasping, Renji, still not done, rolled over and took Ichigo by the back of the neck, pulling his head down and smushing it against his crotch, grinding his hips against his face. Ichigo was so blissed-out that he let him do it too, opening his mouth, lazily nipping and biting. He helped Renji take off his jockstrap, at last releasing his straining cock, and directed it to his mouth clumsily, just sighing and grunting as Renji thrusted in and out of his mouth. "Mmh, mmm," Ichigo hummed, eyes fluttering as Renji took his cheeks in his hands.

When he felt orgasm approaching, he pulled back and stroked himself off, breathing heavily. "Open," he gasped, and Ichigo did, letting his tongue out, only closing his mouth around the head of Renji's cock once he came. Renji held his head with one hand, the other tight around the shaft of his pulsing cock, teeth gritted. He let out a long breath of satisfaction, watching Ichigo push his cum out of his mouth, letting it seep and spill out from between his lips, down his chin and neck. "Yeaaah," Renji breathed, hand on the side of his face. He leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, their heavy breaths syncing as their heartbeats began to slow.

When they separated, they laid down in a heap, worn out and content. Ichigo'd had towels and wetnaps ready next to the bed, so after wiping each other off with care, trading sleepy yawns, Renji prodded Ichigo in the side.

"Good?" he teased, because he already knew the answer. He'd never ever seen Ichigo so into something before. He was feeling pretty pleased with himself, thank you very much. "Beyond your wildest dreams?"

"Yeah," Ichigo sighed, comfortably tucked against him, long legs splayed out next to his. "Although," he yawned, "Your suggestion of dressing up like a hot construction worker has its merits too."

"Hahahaa," Renji laughed. "I'll see about borrowing a toolbelt." Ichigo hummed in acknowledgement, eyes closed, cradled in one of Renji's arms. 

"Renji? . . ." Ichigo mumbled after Renji had long since thought he'd fallen asleep.

"What baby?" he murmured, petting his hair.

After another long period of quiet, Ichigo whispered, "Nothing. Never mind," and Renji's heart hurt a little with sudden doubt.

 _'What's wrong?'_ he thought. _'That was his best fantasy, and he's sad? What did I do wrong?'_

"Did I do something wrong?" Ichigo shook his head.

"No," he told him. "It's not you," he said, but he didn't say anything else. Renji lay awake, confused and worried.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't long after that the winter olympics were held. Rukia actually got to go and see it with her brother. Renji had wanted to, but settled for watching it on TV at home and saving their money for a vacation later in the spring. He still sulked a little bit though.

"Oh knock it off," Ichigo grumbled during the opening ceremonies, guzzling soda and chips on the sofa next to him. "It's only summer after next and Tokyo's hosting."

"If you think I'm not gonna' go fucking balls to the wall in 2020, you'd better just break up with me right now."

"Are you kidding me, it's gonna' be fucking epic."

"I fucking love you."

Renji still hasn't figured out exactly what had been bothering Ichigo, but he could see it now, noticed it more and more often - this pinch to his brow, the way he'd avoid his eyes sometimes. He seemed more secretive, closed off to him somehow.

What he _has_ figured out was that Ichigo and Hisagi have still not made up. He's already talked to Hisagi and told him to cool it and he'd thought things had gotten better, but he'd caught them glaring at each other again at a social gathering. He knows Ichigo's told him to stay out of it and not argue with his friend on his behalf, but Ichigo was clearly bothered, and when he's bothered, Renji's bothered too, and he wants to know what the hell is going on.

The day after he'd seen them giving each other the stink eye again, Renji decided that he was going to have it out, and confronted Hisagi himself.

"You're not bugging him again, are you, senpai?" he scolded, as much as he could to someone older than him. "I told you, please don't interfere in my relationship. I know you might not approve, but it's not your place to get involved."

"I said things I shouldn't have, but I apologized," Hisagi told him. "He came to me. He won't let it go."

"Let what go?"

"He's trying to prove something or other."

If this was some dick-measuring contest, whether literal or not, Renji was going to throw a fucking fit. He told Hisagi so. "We all may have known each other before Ichigo and I got together, but he's my boyfriend now, senpai, and there are boundaries there. Quit trying to upset him." Hisagi pressed his lips together. "Are you telling him bullshit about my past or something?"

"I barely said anything at all, the kid's doing it to himself." Hisagi shrugged a shoulder. "If it was bullshit, he wouldn't be upset."

Renji nearly grabbed him by the collar and yanked him around - this was driving him crazy! He was so fucking aggravated. He'd known all along that Hisagi was the reason Ichigo had become insecure, uncertain in their relationship, felt not good enough and needed to prove that he could be fun and exciting - but hearing him admit it out loud, he was so goddamn pissed that he really felt like hitting him for a second.

"Shuuhei, you're my bud, but bro-rule number one is don't fuck with each other's girlfriends and wives." Renji set his jaw hard. "I'm warning you, man."

"Are you telling me to stay away from him?"

"I'm telling you to stop whatever it is you're doing," Renji insisted. "I don't care if you tease him or screw around, but not about our relationship. That's not your place." Hisagi didn't say anything.

"Senpai, look, you might not like it, but this is how things are. I'm serious about him."

"You are, huh?" he said, thoughtfully.

"What does that mean?" Renji demanded. "What the fuck does that mean?"

It actually really hurt him to know that someone he respected very much didn't seem to be happy for him. He'd thought that he was. He'd thought Hisagi and Ichigo got along in their own way like Ichigo got along with Ikkaku. To realize now that Hisagi thought their whole relationship was bound to fall apart or something, it stung.

"Nothing," Shuuhei said. "Maybe it's just hard for me to see two people trust each other that much." Renji's shoulders dropped, feeling bad suddenly when he thought of Izuru. "I'm sorry I've caused you trouble. I'll stop."

"Thank you," he said. "I love him, Shuuhei. I really do."

"I know. I'm glad for you, kid." Hisagi slapped his shoulder, and Renji felt the ache of that betrayal ease.

He was glad he'd had that talk with him, but unfortunately, the damage had already been done in the first place, and Ichigo didn't get any better. Whatever thoughts were running around in his head clearly couldn't be taken back that easily.

Renji tried his best to cheer him up, to figure out what was wrong - he tried to talk to him about it and made sure he knew it was okay to tell him what was bothering him, but Ichigo didn't want to talk about it. He seemed distant somehow.

Renji hates nothing more than when Ichigo felt distant from him. The last thing he wants is for Ichigo to pull away.

"Ichigo, c'mon."

"I told you, nothing's the matter."

"No, c'mon."

"I'm just gonna' tune you out now."

"Ichigo. _Ichigo._ "

"Mm?"

"Ichigo, pay attention to me."

"Hmmm."

"Ichigo," Renji insisted, but still got no response from his boyfriend, who was reading in bed. "Ichigo, if you don't pay attention to me I'm gonna' throw myself out the window." Ichigo just kept on ignoring him.

Has he done something wrong? Was Ichigo punishing him? Was he waiting for Renji to figure out what he's done and apologize? Renji couldn't figure this one out - Ichigo's behavior had seemed to change after that night they'd had where Renji had shown off his jockstrap for him. Ichigo had gone back into his shell, withdrawn from him.

He just wished Ichigo would talk to him, tell him what was wrong. Renji _knew_ something wasn't right. "Ichigo," he insisted, to little effect. Frustrated, Renji pressed his lips together, scrunching his brow at his boyfriend. Why was he being so cold towards him? He surely didn't deserve this.

Knowing that swiping Ichigo's book wasn't going to get him any points, Renji started rubbing on his back and his legs, trying to coax him to respond. "Ichigo." Ichigo just flipped a page, not even looking at him.

"Ichigo, I'm pregnant."

"Huh?" Ichigo lifted his head at that one, but immediately gave him a disgruntled scowl and turned back to his book. "Don't fuck around, Renji."

"C'mon!"

It went on that way for awhile, and Renji didn't know what to do. At last he gave up, distressed that it seemed like his best efforts at getting Ichigo to share his troubles had failed. Ichigo'd closed himself off from him and there was nothing he could do.

They'd been doing so well for a couple weeks there, with their new bedroom pastime, but Ichigo had pulled away from him and Renji didn't know why. What has he done wrong? He wished he could comfort Ichigo, could fix his mistake, whatever it was.

At last, he came home one night, exhausted. It's been a long couple of weeks. He was so tired that the second he got in the door, he just dropped his briefcase on the floor, shed his jacket and left that on the floor too, kicked his shoes off, and went straight to their bedroom.

He lay down on the bed, still in his work clothes. He knew he shouldn't when he was still dirty from the day, but he was just so tired. He was feeling sort of down too, which probably contributed to his exhaustion. He let out a long sigh, sinking into the mattress, and then hugged his pillow, wishing Ichigo was home. Mournfully, he remembered that he was supposed to be back late.

He made a little miserable noise, closing his eyes and snuggling the pillow to his face, feeling lonely for his boyfriend.

"Renji?" he suddenly heard. "Is that you?" Renji picked his head up in confusion, wiping an eye with a sleepy snort.

"Babe?" He sat up, looking around. "What are you doing home?"

"They were overstaffed. I had an early night." Renji rolled onto his back, closing his eyes again, listening to Ichigo call to him from the bathroom.

"Mm." Smiling a little, he rubbed his hand on his stomach, stretching out contentedly. "Was just thinkin' about you. Glad you're home," he murmured.

"..." Ichigo was quiet for a second. "You sound tired," he said almost hesitantly. "Do you just wanna' go straight to bed?"

"I could use a shower, but since you're home early I wouldn't mind some love before bed," Renji hummed, smiling a little more.

Honestly, he just wanted to be paid attention, wanted to be held and snuggled and pet on the head until he drifted off. He wanted Ichigo to scold him for overworking and then tuck him into bed and kiss his forehead. It was sort of a pipe dream for him to expect Ichigo to mother him or comfort him any time he wasn't sick, but maybe if he asked really nicely, Ichigo would at least brush his hair for him or something.

"Okay," Ichigo replied.

Renji tried to stay in bed and wait for him, he really did, but Ichigo was in there for a really long time. Eventually he started to get antsy and impatient. He felt silly now, for being so upset this past week or so, pestering Ichigo to spill his secret. Renji just missed the way things were between them, missed being close. He really wanted to hold him, kiss him goodnight; it'd make the long day at work worth it.

"Babe, you coming out?" Renji called, then wondered, "Are you sick?"

"One sec'," Ichigo answered, his voice doing this weird thing, like he was nervous.

"Are you okay?" Renji sat up, looking towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, just a sec'," he insisted quickly. Renji waited with a frown. It was quiet for a really long time, several more minutes passing all by his lonesome.

"Renji?" Ichigo called for him at last. Renji got up then. He was worried now.

"What is it? I'm here," he said through the bathroom door, hand on the handle. "Can I come in?" He tried to twist the knob, but Ichigo must've been holding it too, because it resisted his grip, wouldn't let him turn it.

"You know when I first wore that underwear on New Years Eve?" Ichigo wondered, almost anxiously. Renji stopped trying to open the door. He must finally be telling him what's bothering him. There had been something after all. Ichigo must not be able to face him, must feel ashamed. Renji put his forehead to the wood, listening earnestly.

"Yeah baby, I remember," he murmured gently.

"An' you know how you got upset because you thought I just did it for your sake?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't say, but, I didn't just do it because of that." Ichigo cleared his throat, and Renji can hear him shift on the other side of the door. "I… I actually…" Ichigo couldn't say it, trying his hardest, but it just didn't come.

"What?" Renji prompted softly, to let him know he was still there.

"I did want to see if I could excite you, but I'd been thinking about it for a long time before that," Ichigo confessed, so quiet that Renji had to put his ear to the door, listen very hard. "I just didn't want to tell you," he whispered.

"Why not?"

"I dunno'... I thought… I thought you'd think it was stupid."

Renji straightened up. "You thought I'd be a total dick and make fun of you for wearing it?"

"Well, not really, but… I didn't want to tell you," Ichigo muttered, sounding ashamed, which just about broke Renji's heart.

"You can tell me anything, baby." He tried to comfort him, but it was hard with the door between them.

"I know," Ichigo said after taking a deep breath. "I was just scared."

"Well I don't think it's stupid," Renji told him, feeling an incredible sense of relief that it hadn't been something more serious, that Ichigo was alright. "You're sexy in anything. You blew me away." He gave a little laugh then, "All it did was make me fall in love with you… again…" he trailed off, because Ichigo opened the door halfway through.

He was silent for a moment, this breath escaping through his open mouth as he looked at Ichigo standing there in front of him. If Ichigo had been meaning to surprise him again, he goddamn had, standing modestly in the doorway like that in a lacy piece of underwear, white with blue trimming, fidgeting modestly.

Renji found he was wearing cute socks too, babydoll ones that pulled halfway up his shins, laced through with a blue ribbon. The hair stood up on the back of his neck as he looked back into Ichigo's face. He looked mortified, but his eyes didn't waver from Renji's, his jaw set stubbornly, although he chewed on his lips and squirmed like mad.

He hadn't expected this at all…

Renji reached out for him, took the half step towards him and eased him into his arms, and smiled, smiled almost uncontrollably, the breath still stolen out of him as he ran his hands gently along Ichigo's soft bare skin and embraced him.

Placing his hands down Ichigo's back, feeling his bottom, the soft white lace, Renji whispered breathlessly, "Aw baby, I-"

"Shh," Ichigo hushed him, and Renji clammed up, watched him swallow. His eyes flicked away for no more than a moment before he leaned in to Renji's ear. "I… I'm gonna' do what I want with you tonight," he whispered. It wasn't even this demanding aggressive thing that ought to give Renji the feeling of being dominated, but the effect was the same.

They made it to the bed and Renji kept marveling at the sight of him like that, his firm, lean figure looking so soft and sweet, wrapped up like that. At first he thought that Ichigo was going to stand there and wait to be ravished, was going to let him thoroughly ravage his body, but to his further surprise, in his shy uncertain way, Ichigo had his fucking way with him that night.

He pushed Renji down on the bed and sat atop him like he owned the place, and though he blushed through all of it, he stayed there and put a condom onto Renji. He thought he would get off and let him take the wheel, but he didn't. They had sex like that with Ichigo sitting on his dick, spread out before him. Ichigo almost never did that, it was a rare thing for him to ride Renji and let him see him like that, so lewd, thrusting himself on his hips and moaning and gasping. He loved to be on his back like that with Ichigo's body swallowing up his dick with each heavy drop of his weight onto his hips, shoving and bouncing him into the bed.

He was so vocal too, almost like he couldn't stop himself. He's so pink, flushed partway down his neck and chest, but he didn't take his eyes off Renji, didn't stop the sounds of enjoyment spilling out of him, didn't stop rubbing his hands over himself. It felt dirty, seeing him like this.

 _'What the fuck?'_ Renji thought almost deliriously, gripping Ichigo's hips, still covered by lace ruffles that were just pulled aside enough down below to let his dick shove in and out. _'What the fuck is going on? What is with his sexy moans tonight?'_

Suffice to say, Renji had the thrill of his life that night.

"I can't believe I did that." That was all Ichigo said to him for the rest of the night.

Ichigo didn't do much in the aftermath, tight-lipped and sweaty and red-faced, but he seemed pleased with himself, and Renji certainly had no complaints, laying there completely burnt out and wrung dry. "Fuck," he gasped. "Fuck, I love you. I fucking love you," he mumbled, clumsily patting Ichigo's sweaty head. "That was fuckin' amazing."

Ichigo didn't open his eyes, but smiled, and despite the clear embarrassment on his face, he seemed smug too somehow.

* * *

read the final sequel on ao3: 'thrill me!'


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